Down Home

Friday; August 8, 2008
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INTRODUCING:
fraternal Twins: Clyde & Claude
.. and their mentally challenged cohort, Roy

Eatin’ Watermelons
Down Home

Clyde: Roy, I hope you appreciate me an’ Claude a-bringing you this big, ripe watermelon from Mr. Ledford’s patch.

Claude: Yeah, boy .. Roy. Me and Clyde done already et t’other one he fetched us.

Roy: Yeah, yeah, yeah .. I like watermelons !

Clyde: Well, I likes to pour salt on my half.

Claude: Yeah, well I likes eting mine with a case knife.

Roy: That’s a mitey big’un, fellers !

Clyde: It shor is, Roy. Bigger’n than the one Claude and me done et.

Claude: Yeah, and we only et half, each.

Roy: Uh, uh, uh, .. that’s ok. I can et it all.

Clyde: My God – that’s a awfull big’un. !

Claude: Yeah, do you think you can et that whole thang, Roy.

Roy: I thank so. Hold on thar a minute. ( Roy gets up to leave .. )

Clyde: Where you goin’, Roy ?

Roy: I’ll be right back.

Roy is gone for about 15 minutes .. before he returns …

Roy: Ok, fellers – hyer goes. ( and Roy starts eating )

And after another 10 minutes …

Claude: My God, Roy ! You done et that whole watermelon by’n yorself.

Roy: Belch !

Clyde: By the way, Roy – where did you go .. before you et that whole watermelon?

Roy: Well, well, well, - that was a mitey big watermelon. And I wasn’t shor I could et it all.
And, and, and .. well, thar was a watermelon jes’ as big as this’n that the Clinic had in thar kitchen.
So, I et it, firs’. And, heck – I figured if I could et THAT one .. well, well, well – I’ze perty shor I get et THIS one !

LARRY CURTIS SPURLOCK